I've technically been a teacher since last July. I started with a nice little sunday batch at Here and Now with no more than fifteen kids and young adults. I taught them level one French and I had fun doing it. (I am not so sure if they did too.) It started with my internship at AFM in May 2012, my first opportunity to enter this place as a non student. I'd done Pedadogie at Uni the previous semester and Mme. Mira had made it all the more interesting and inviting. The internship came right in time to put the little, vague theory I had picked up at uni, to practice. I observed classes and supervised DELF exams during the internship. Some classes I observed, turned out to be some real eye openers, some of them taught by both good and bad example. I was in an A1 class, all over again but this time I paid no attention to what was being taught but more to HOW it was being handled in class.
During this period of observation ( I realise now) I was quick to judge. I had an opinion about how a particular lesson was taught and felt bad about how certain people were dealt with in class. It was easy to note when the teacher went wrong and when things were done in a way that seemed wrong. i was proven wrong soon. Here and Now offered me a job the following July. Sunday from 8 to 12 in the morning. It was a true challenge. Early mornings on the weekend - not the best of times for students to be able to study. I was a mere starter, I did my best to give all I could. But in vain. I saw yawning faces. Nothing makes my heart sink more than yawning faces. It's the biggest negative feedback you can ever get as a teacher. I explained a lot, I acted things out, I came up with games... I ended up feeling like I had no future as a teacher. A bad teacher had no reason to live. Every class threw existential questions at me. Am I good enough? Has my journey gone the right way thus far? How can I be better? Why do I suck at this? It would leave me wondering why I am doing this thing this way. My mother is a brilliant teacher, shouldnt it be in my blood or something?
As a student I was the ideal girl. Being the class rep meant something to me. Home work had to be done, everyday. I wouldn't talk in class, I would fight, scream, yell and jump to make sure I answered every question. I was always and am still the bright, smiling first bencher. This was probably the reason why I found it so infuriating to have NOISY, IRRITATING people in classes I took. That was just something I could neither comprehend nor accept. WHY aren't you happy just learning? Stop being irritating! AT AFM the first batch I handled was a kids batch, with this SUPER ANNOYING kid, who had absolutely no classroom manners. He was 8. But still. NO class room manners. He'd jump and he'd scream and he'd be noisy and he'd drag chairs around, pour ink on himself and so on. With the help of the threatening his mother and I put him through, I was able to get him to dial down just a little bit. But here's the catch. He was pretty bright and if you did succeed in getting him to sit down with a paper and a pen and listen to you, he was capable of grasping things very very quickly. That's sad, right? This threatening the kid to behave like a teenager amongst whom he was put... that was unfair to him. And if I was a better teacher maybe I would have handled better. I spent days feeling guilty about how this kid made me feel. I was depressed that I couldn't get him to learn anything some days. Some days he'd irritate me so much I'd end up showing all that frustration on mum or dad or the people around me. I needed help on handling him and I had nowhere to turn to. The insecurity didn't help me either.
But teaching isn't all bad. For every noisy irritating kid, there are two adorable little ones who offer you the jellies they packed from home! Another two that are the sweetest and the most studious. :P :D This new kids batch I am doing now, I'm learning so much about how to handle them. Have you been in a room full of over excited 8 year olds? Its an experience. It sounds like you're in the beach on a kaanum pongal day. Trust me. You can't hear your own thoughts. Your throat would ache from all the screaming. There is only one thing that brings them back to some order. Playing their favorite action song. Put on the video and let the song play... They'll dance and sing the entire day. They have no qualms about colouring as many pages as you might want them to colour or recite as many rhymes as you want them to. Make them play ball and before you know it one would hit the other with it. And the things they say to you and amongst themselves... Sometimes I have trouble controlling the urge to lift some of them off the ground and cuddle them away. Nah. Kids are alll lovely!
During this period of observation ( I realise now) I was quick to judge. I had an opinion about how a particular lesson was taught and felt bad about how certain people were dealt with in class. It was easy to note when the teacher went wrong and when things were done in a way that seemed wrong. i was proven wrong soon. Here and Now offered me a job the following July. Sunday from 8 to 12 in the morning. It was a true challenge. Early mornings on the weekend - not the best of times for students to be able to study. I was a mere starter, I did my best to give all I could. But in vain. I saw yawning faces. Nothing makes my heart sink more than yawning faces. It's the biggest negative feedback you can ever get as a teacher. I explained a lot, I acted things out, I came up with games... I ended up feeling like I had no future as a teacher. A bad teacher had no reason to live. Every class threw existential questions at me. Am I good enough? Has my journey gone the right way thus far? How can I be better? Why do I suck at this? It would leave me wondering why I am doing this thing this way. My mother is a brilliant teacher, shouldnt it be in my blood or something?
As a student I was the ideal girl. Being the class rep meant something to me. Home work had to be done, everyday. I wouldn't talk in class, I would fight, scream, yell and jump to make sure I answered every question. I was always and am still the bright, smiling first bencher. This was probably the reason why I found it so infuriating to have NOISY, IRRITATING people in classes I took. That was just something I could neither comprehend nor accept. WHY aren't you happy just learning? Stop being irritating! AT AFM the first batch I handled was a kids batch, with this SUPER ANNOYING kid, who had absolutely no classroom manners. He was 8. But still. NO class room manners. He'd jump and he'd scream and he'd be noisy and he'd drag chairs around, pour ink on himself and so on. With the help of the threatening his mother and I put him through, I was able to get him to dial down just a little bit. But here's the catch. He was pretty bright and if you did succeed in getting him to sit down with a paper and a pen and listen to you, he was capable of grasping things very very quickly. That's sad, right? This threatening the kid to behave like a teenager amongst whom he was put... that was unfair to him. And if I was a better teacher maybe I would have handled better. I spent days feeling guilty about how this kid made me feel. I was depressed that I couldn't get him to learn anything some days. Some days he'd irritate me so much I'd end up showing all that frustration on mum or dad or the people around me. I needed help on handling him and I had nowhere to turn to. The insecurity didn't help me either.
But teaching isn't all bad. For every noisy irritating kid, there are two adorable little ones who offer you the jellies they packed from home! Another two that are the sweetest and the most studious. :P :D This new kids batch I am doing now, I'm learning so much about how to handle them. Have you been in a room full of over excited 8 year olds? Its an experience. It sounds like you're in the beach on a kaanum pongal day. Trust me. You can't hear your own thoughts. Your throat would ache from all the screaming. There is only one thing that brings them back to some order. Playing their favorite action song. Put on the video and let the song play... They'll dance and sing the entire day. They have no qualms about colouring as many pages as you might want them to colour or recite as many rhymes as you want them to. Make them play ball and before you know it one would hit the other with it. And the things they say to you and amongst themselves... Sometimes I have trouble controlling the urge to lift some of them off the ground and cuddle them away. Nah. Kids are alll lovely!
