Again, do not remember when the hell I wrote it. Definitely while I wasstudying at Ethiraj. What a drama queen I was.
Ever since I felt the first few instances what I would now like to call ‘affection’ for some person, from the beginning of adolescence until this day, for reasons that I have managed to blur after a lot of effort, I have always silently cried under the sheets, so as to not wake the sleeping family. I have always cupped my hands over my mouth to muffle deep sobs, I have always let my pillows dry streams and streams of warm tears. While in bed in the dark it is always easy and comfortable to let my thoughts wander every place they refused to go during the day, afraid that my face might betray me to those ones who seem to so easily read it. I dont know why I thought meeting One person could change that for me. Maybe it is too much to hope for from a soul other than mine. Maybe it all has to happen from the inside.
Ever since I felt the first few instances what I would now like to call ‘affection’ for some person, from the beginning of adolescence until this day, for reasons that I have managed to blur after a lot of effort, I have always silently cried under the sheets, so as to not wake the sleeping family. I have always cupped my hands over my mouth to muffle deep sobs, I have always let my pillows dry streams and streams of warm tears. While in bed in the dark it is always easy and comfortable to let my thoughts wander every place they refused to go during the day, afraid that my face might betray me to those ones who seem to so easily read it. I dont know why I thought meeting One person could change that for me. Maybe it is too much to hope for from a soul other than mine. Maybe it all has to happen from the inside.
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